Sorry about the letters, just protecting privacy. R is twelve, C is seven, and D is five--E is 9 months and not part of the story. This was in my inbox this morning:
How is your morning going? If you need a good laugh, I thought I'd tell you about mine.
I've decided to title this story "Life without B". You'll see why at the end. It all started innocently with me getting R out of bed and sitting on her bed talking to her as she got dressed. Fast forward 45 minutes to both of us jumping up and realizing we fell back asleep and missed her bus. The car is really cold at 6:45. That time shouldn't even be on the clock. Anyway, I came home to C and D playing on the computer. C was actually ready for school by himself and did very well. I know, I'm rambling but I'm getting to the funny part. By the way do you have a garbage can or barf bucket by your desk? Nevermind. Anyway, in the middle of D creating his own Bakugan figure online, he sneezed the biggest, hugest 5 year old sneeze. It rocked the windows like an earthquake. I briefly considered trying to lay back on R's bed and hope the morning was all a bad dream, but I couldn't sleep because C was yelling, "Oh gross, and wow D, that was COOOOL". I ventured, "D, please tell me you sneezed on your pants." (I wish) No, it was all over my keyboard. We as Grandma G's children always use the phrase "snot up a hill backwards in january", and now I see where this came from. I now know the speed velocity of snot running into my keyboard with my boys yelling, "hurry mom, it's going to get to the B line! Oh no! what if it gets to the spacebar??? We'll never be able to use the space again!" (maybe they should try the one between their ears) Do you know how long it takes to get snot out from inbetween keys with a kitchen knife and a paper towel? About 30 minutes if you really ever want to use b,h,j, and m again. On the upside, it will be a good diet day since my appetite is long gone and goes a bit further every time I touch B and my finger gets wet. I love my kids. It just occurs to me that I'm writing a huge story about snot. HELP the boyness is getting into my blood! Next thing you know I'll be farting with the best of them. I do love my kids. I had to write that again for my own benefit. C left the house figuring out what words he could write without touching B.
How is your morning going? If you need a good laugh, I thought I'd tell you about mine.
I've decided to title this story "Life without B". You'll see why at the end. It all started innocently with me getting R out of bed and sitting on her bed talking to her as she got dressed. Fast forward 45 minutes to both of us jumping up and realizing we fell back asleep and missed her bus. The car is really cold at 6:45. That time shouldn't even be on the clock. Anyway, I came home to C and D playing on the computer. C was actually ready for school by himself and did very well. I know, I'm rambling but I'm getting to the funny part. By the way do you have a garbage can or barf bucket by your desk? Nevermind. Anyway, in the middle of D creating his own Bakugan figure online, he sneezed the biggest, hugest 5 year old sneeze. It rocked the windows like an earthquake. I briefly considered trying to lay back on R's bed and hope the morning was all a bad dream, but I couldn't sleep because C was yelling, "Oh gross, and wow D, that was COOOOL". I ventured, "D, please tell me you sneezed on your pants." (I wish) No, it was all over my keyboard. We as Grandma G's children always use the phrase "snot up a hill backwards in january", and now I see where this came from. I now know the speed velocity of snot running into my keyboard with my boys yelling, "hurry mom, it's going to get to the B line! Oh no! what if it gets to the spacebar??? We'll never be able to use the space again!" (maybe they should try the one between their ears) Do you know how long it takes to get snot out from inbetween keys with a kitchen knife and a paper towel? About 30 minutes if you really ever want to use b,h,j, and m again. On the upside, it will be a good diet day since my appetite is long gone and goes a bit further every time I touch B and my finger gets wet. I love my kids. It just occurs to me that I'm writing a huge story about snot. HELP the boyness is getting into my blood! Next thing you know I'll be farting with the best of them. I do love my kids. I had to write that again for my own benefit. C left the house figuring out what words he could write without touching B.
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